SEVEN NIGHTS

SEVEN NIGHTS

For seven nights 

I fell asleep in your arms

and being in love

became believable 

again...

a possibility...

It only took a drink of your nectar,

the Life-Force that dances within you...

there I was,

in love all over again,

blessed by the Star of Venus....

You only had to skim my cheek with your fingers...

and let that look colour your eyes of gold...

your intention so obvious,

your soul wide-open...
... all the walls of my heart’s fortress

came tumbling down....

and my feeling was resurrected!

But then you had to go.

How do you always do this to me?

Is it rhythm of your breath?

The pitch and depth of your voice?

The fire in your hips?

The distinctive taste of your being?

It must be your hands,

your grip can capture me for eternity...

Every single time...

Or is it the shape of our bodies when we join –

our beautifully entwined limbs:

complete and yet so hungry...

The way we move together:

raw and sensual,

we belong to each other in moments like this –

when time stands still

and miracles are born

under the Moon.

You always open 

the door to eternity to me.

You make me feel immortal,

you make my flesh and blood become gold.

I can melt in your presence.

The ego dissolves.

I am back in the Garden of Eden.

I: truly yours.

You: completely mine.

And we are in LOVE.

All I can say is:

I love you.

And you say you love me, too.

We say it without words.

The Silent Language of the Heart.

Always and forever.

So we forget that I can also hate you,

and how you can hurt me, too.

In your arms.

In love.

I become the little girl, 

the kitten,

the one who writes things that make some cringe

and I don’t care.

Back to the core of me,

vulnerable and pure.

And what is more, 

I understand it all,

And it’s ok.

You’re my bridge 

across the most secret,

holy garden of my heart.

You are 

my little secret angel of surprise...

I couldn’t love you 

any more than this.

Every cell in my body 

is singing your name.

Every atom of me 

wants to become you.

I couldn’t love any more than this 

as a woman.

I could love you only a little bit more

if only I were the Sun.

Because my love for you

is the Star of my existence.

Will love endure the test of time,

when we die,

when we leave 

this mortal coil?

Will our moments of splendour –

when our hearts expand 
and we gaze into each other’s eyes

and smile the Silent Smile –

change the course of our life stories?

Who knows?

...do the Stars know?

I am too small, my sweet lover,

to carry the memory of such beauty

inside my chest.
‘This is the life’, you said.

Sublime mortality.

Sometimes.

Hearts like stars.

Eyes like the ocean.

Is this love too much for a lifetime?

What can I do?

How can I love you now?

How can you love me even more?

Can I build a temple to our love

and light a candle every night?

May the wind kiss your mouth

when I’m not there...

may it kiss you like I do...

Languid

Orbit

Veering

Emptiness

Can you see the full moon

from your window 

tonight?

Think of me 

just for a second

and remember

our Star

a little while longer ...

* * * * 

I THINK I KILLED THAT PART OF ME

I THINK I KILLED THAT PART OF ME

I think I killed that part of me

that wasn’t me

but just a bundle

of other folk’s ideas

all about love and romance

and marriage and intimacy

and family, belonging

and relating and all that.

A very serious,

frightened,

impossible to maintain

part of me.

It happened in an instant.

Though once upon a time 

I used to wear my armour

Until one night

of our fine nights of passion,

When my attention crash-landed

Into my heart

And what it stands for

And the kind of love-energy

That it is.

That I am.

Truly:

It happened in a second,

The second when

You touched my cheek gently

And lingered there

For what felt like forever,

Your glance so soft and open.

In that second

I knew

You had fully explored me

And owned me then.

You had the map of my being:

You were that map.

That’s when I saw you

In all your splendour,

Then my heart melted like gold

And goodbye was our medicine.

Now I can’t take the ‘man-woman thing’

seriously anymore.

It’ll never be more beautiful

Than your finger’s soft touch

On my cheek

That night.

Sometimes I wish

I didn’t kill

That part of me

That night.

heartlessly

I wish I could at least be angry at you. I tried to be. My effort was cut short by your cowardice and so I’m left scattering my choked words to the seven winds … I can’t even be upset with you because you don’t know what love is, and so you don’t know how to love. You don’t even know the scope of your loss as you can’t recognise love even when it’s looking you in the eye, staring into your soul, the very soul you hide away from yourself and the world.

I am made of love, I breathe it and give it freely, effortlessly. The palette of feelings at my disposal is a wide as the sky, it stretches over the rainbow. You remain a rock against all that I give you. You look at me as if I was a body, a pretty body that’s true, but only that. You think I’m crazy because I feel deeply and fearlessly, because I let myself feel love even when it hurts.

I try to make myself so very small so that you and your stupid heart of stone can grasp me. But I’m too transient, I’m made of spirit and tears and songs of longing lovers, so you cannot seize me. I’m like a balloon that got away from your hand’s grip. You choose to hate me instead, lest you feel even just an ounce of regret.

The world is full of loveless people like you. I know you’re only scared little children in men’s bodies, afraid of your vulnerability, afraid of death, afraid of admitting your limits. What can I do? I see you for who you really are. And you keep running away from me. But first you make sure I give you my love so that you can run away with it, proud of your theft.

You’re not running away with my love. My love is here, in my heart, surprised at the fact that you didn’t want to let it grow with yours. Love is for sharing, not to be stolen. I am puzzled at the way you’re only running away from yourself and believe I’m the one who’s crazy for wanting to assert the right to love and trying my best to find some good even in someone who treated me the way you did: heartlessly.