Chapter Three - "HEARTBREAK"

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Three

HEARTBREAK

Meanwhile in Arkadia (Earth time: December 1992)

We are the Arkadian Masters. We are known to humans as the saints of all cultures and ages, as the gods and goddesses of ancient lore, as heavenly angels visiting the Earth. Through many lifetimes, we have become self-realized. We can raise the vibration of the cells of our bodies to sustain the frequency of the Light. We operate in the fourth dimension, at the junction between the material and the spiritual. We can travel across space and time. Our lives are at the service of humanity. Our Plan is to help the Earth transform back into the Garden of Eden, which is its natural state. Our purpose is to assist humankind in achieving its potential for Divinity, in alignment with the Ancient Venusian Prophecy and the Will of the Universe.

We are elsewhere in space and out of time. This message is reaching you from Arkadia, the Earthly outpost of Venusian activity hovering over the Gobi Desert, where we live. This place, which is invisible to the human eye, is the Earth’s Blueprint in the Mind of the Universe. It is the Thought Form of the third planet from the Sun in its pristine state, as conceived of by its Maker.

Arkadia vibrates to the pulsation of the fifth dimension, a parallel plane of potentiality also known as the Realm of Ideas. Indeed, all the Arts originate here, as do many of humanity’s hopes and dreams. For humans, poetry, music, dance and romance are some of the paths back to this dimension. Where we are, reality and unreality can swap places, and time and motion are recognized as illusions. Here, the mind controls matter.

True artists and healers are among our allies on Earth. They are beacons pointing the way towards the Realm of Arkadia for the rest of humanity. These sensitive human beings can act as vessels for the symbols that the Universe conveys in the guise of art, and that we call the Secret Language. These symbols contain love-keys that can activate a transformation in those who let their senses receive them. Artists and healers are shamans and initiates into the Mysteries of Ascension, the evolution of humankind into its immortal potential. Oscar O’Leary is one of such artists. They are always on the lookout for the signs the Earth is sending their way in the form of harmonious patterns. Whilst they are incarnated in the third dimension, the plane of materiality, duality and separation, they can catch these signs so they can bring them back home. True artists and shamans can move through the fourth dimension, which is the meeting place of spirit and matter, and back to the fifth dimension of ideas, potentiality, monism and unity here in Arkadia.

The material and the spiritual planes are embodied by the Earth and Arkadia, which are separated by a filter called the Veil of Illusion, or the Veil of Maya. This Veil is where the Mind of Creation is perceived as fragmented, although this is pure illusion, a trick played by the individualized minds of each living being. In fact, all minds are but One. However, the sense of human identity is greatly determined by the ego. Unity of mind is only experienced by a few enlightened souls on the three-dimensional Earth. The opposite is true in Arkadia, which is inhabited by pure minds whose symbiosis and synchronicity are constantly perfected. We are such minds, and we use our Light-Bodies in our work to ensure that the Purpose of Creation can be revealed to the dwellers of the Earth.

Arkadia is as real to us as it is a myth to human beings. As the legend goes, the Gobi desert was once a great ocean where there was a landmass called the Diamond Island. Its dwellers had bodies made of Light. The humans called them saints and worshiped them as deities in the past. To the uninitiated, the desert is all that can be seen. But Arkadia is no legend: it is a parallel dimension. To us, there is no desert but an ocean of Light surrounding our Kingdom. We are those Light Beings, and the island is our home.

In origin, we were are a colony of Higher Beings. Some of us are of Earthly descent or, more precisely, of human ascent. Those among us who were born humans reached this level by perfecting our deeds and raising the frequency of our material bodies to transfiguration. But most of us are Star People from Venus. We often interact with humans, though invisibly so. We hear and answer their prayers.

Kassandra is inseparable from the purpose of our Arkadian Plan. Her role in the Movement for Planetary Ascension is fundamental. The Movement includes humans as well as Light Beings, mortal and immortal alike. It revolves around the Ancient Venusian Prophecy that tells how humanity will change into a higher, more evolved, more loving race. This will happen once humankind wakes up to its Potential, and to the Light of the human soul. However, over time, the ego has cast the thick fog of illusion over it. Thus, humans perceive and create the world in a distorted manner.

The physical location of this Light is in the pineal gland, or third eye, of the species’ brain. Initiates into the Mysteries of Ascension undergo training to open the third eye. This, in turn, will kick-start the complete reworking of the human organism into a more sophisticated instrument, and will activate humanity’s twelve-strand spiritual DNA. The first two strands of DNA, scientifically discovered by humanity, are physical: the double helix building blocks of life. But there are five other double helix pairs in the DNA system of life. These pairs are non-physical and are imprinted on the human energy field. Together, the six pairs of strands constitute the “twelve-strand DNA system”. Through the process of activation of the other five pairs, human beings will become ‘enlightened’ at the physical level, transforming their bodies into special vehicles capable of self-healing, teletransportation, telepathy and other so-called ‘super powers’. They will become the masters of matter and elude death for longer than they are currently able.

According to a famous Mayan prophecy, which is none other than a reinterpretation of the Ancient Venusian Prophecy, on 21 December 2012 the number of ascended humans will reach a critical mass. This will trigger a series of transformations and bring about major changes in the world. For the better. It will be the end of the world as humankind knows it. It will happen against many odds, although many are sabotaging the Prophecy. But we know the outcome because we travel across time, just like Kassandra.

The Earth is Paradise, despite the fact that not many can see that. Children can catch a glimpse of the beauty of this planet, albeit growing up tends to adulterate one’s soul. But the day is approaching when, in the Light of the True Self, human dwellers will learn to distinguish the illusions of their egos from the truth of their souls. Evil will disappear. All internal conflict, which once produced external struggle, hatred, competition and war, shall cease to exist at last. The King of Arkadia will emerge to govern the New Earth, revealed in all her glory to the renewed human race. The story has a happy-ending, and it’s been written in the stars. However, a period of decadent, dissolute materialism will precede the Age of Arkadia. This dark prelude coincides with the final decades of the twentieth century, and the first few decades of the new millennium.

At the time of this communication, the Great Diamond Lodge is buzzing with activity. The meeting of the High Council is about to start. We, the Arkadian Masters, are set to discuss new developments in Kassandra’s life on Earth. Our session has to be kept secret from the rest of the Island’s inhabitants. It has become difficult to connect with the Star Girl and detect her frequency on Earth. She is changing, she is becoming less of herself, we think. Gordon is an agent of the Dark Forces. It is obvious that his influence has lowered her energy and challenged her self-focus. She is leaning a bit too much towards her human side for our liking. It is important that we should maintain a watchful eye on her, to keep her from deviating from her destiny’s course any further. Although we cannot intervene directly lest she incur the penalty of karma, we must trust her ability to remember her True Identity even without our help. Is she going to do that?

Kassandra is a young woman in love, or at least she thinks that she is, and her heart is becoming more and more human through experience, by exchanging and absorbing the low-frequency material that forms matter. Her Star Seed is still strong and fully functioning in its Divinity, but she is now often unaware of it. She is too busy paying attention to Gordon’s interests, his golfing tournaments, and devising sultry ways to keep him from the lures of the women who flock around him. He is famous and sought after. She is jealous. Her Italian genes are stubborn and to the fore these days.

It is all part of the Plan, and we, the Masters, know it. But we hadn’t expected Kassandra to follow her hormones rather than her Venusian know-how to this extent. We can only mean for things to pan out, because this is our nature and this is the way things are in the fifth dimension. Anything that veers from the Plan is but the product of the Dark Forces and their mischievous leader. It all looks like an illusion from here, but not from the Earth. It seems that unruliness is to characterize Kassandra’s Earthly adventures from this point onward. Our congenitally fixed outlook now requires some flexibility on our part. This is a challenge that calls for all our individual skills and for the most synchronized joint effort.

“Lady Master Venusia, our Queen, is summoned to speak first on the matter of concern”, thunders the Arkadian Chief Councilor, Lord Kutuh, Master of the Earth.

“Masters, it is only expected that we shouldn’t understand this part of Kassandra’s journey”, Lady Venusia starts. “She has to go through the most profound human initiation known as heartbreak. It’s part of her destiny: she must understand what it takes to be a woman. Healing the imbalance of the man-woman relationship on Earth lies at the core of the Ancient Arkadian Prophecy. Kassandra must connect her essence to that of all the other women who are currently alive on the Earth, as well as those who had incarnated before.

Women carry the ancestral mark of suffering at the hand of men. Female humans are light-carriers, holders of the Sacred Blue Flame, initiators of the Spark. But they have forgotten. Kassandra must now take the same journey that all women on the Earth have taken. As life-bringers, the are betrayed and abandoned on a regular basis, violated, cheated upon, humiliated, ridiculed, bought and sold, insulted, hurt and even killed. History as well as the present times are plagued by instances of the denial of the Divine Feminine, of the denial of the Life Force itself, which women embody and distribute.

Only a low-vibrational human being such as Gordon Steward can ensure that this kind of pain will be inflicted deeply also on my Star Child. Kassandra must endure the predicament of being brought down to a frequency level that she has never experienced, for the sake of healing the past for the female of the human species. She can and she will. It is a taxing test for her Star Seed, to see if the Plan can indeed program actions even at the low frequency of matter. Her Blue Flame might appear tiny, even invisible, from here. But that seems to be so only through the illusion of time. Kassandra is exactly like any other young woman of her age right now. But I can assure you that we won’t lose her. However, it is true that we won’t see her and that I shall remain the only connection to her actions for a little while longer. Because a mother’s bond can never die, even when it’s been strained by unfamiliar situations like those my daughter is starting to encounter.”

“Very well, Venusia”, Kutuh continues. “But we, the Masters, also share a forever-bond with the Star Girl, one which cannot be severed or clouded, even if temporarily. And the mere fact of talking about her is also activating her fifth-dimensional abilities, although her heart is set on very Earthly concerns. This can have strange consequences, as we’ve seen before through the experiences of other Venusian Masters on Earth, from Jesus to Leonardo. Not to mention the great loss we experienced from the start, the Lost Prince, who fell prey to the temptations of the material plane... The human experience can prove a real challenge for the blue-flamed ones. This time we can’t even conceive of yet another failed attempt at turning humans into their better version, of losing our most important Royal ...”

The Arkadian King radiates golden rays across the Hall to signal that he wants to speak next.

“Kassandra is infallible. Just like the Prophecy. The Lost Prince was supposed to help her but he proved unreliable from the start. He was supposed to find her in those early days, and he ended up becoming trapped in matter. But there is no need to worry when it comes to Kassandra, there is no point in causing concern to the rest of the Arkadian population, even now that events seem to be deviating from the Plan. The other Arkadians must be spared from all of this, so that they can continue to keep their minds on the idea that the Plan is perfect. Because it is. Everything else is an illusion, which has no space here in Elysia. If things were to go wrong in Scotland, or if Kassandra’s course were to stir from what is written in the Stars and by the Stars, well, Time will go into a loop and actions will repeat themselves until resolution. It is fixed. She stands for the end of Time as it is known on Earth. She is at the Center of the Circle, where only what is rightful and what is best will survive. Everything else will have to disappear into the meaninglessness whence it came”.

“But Kyrius”, Venusia is now speaking again, boldly interrupting the King’s contribution, “your stance is very cold. You don’t really appreciate that things on Earth are different, and that there is beauty and love in being flexible, in allowing for change, in accepting that sometimes things won’t go the way you had hoped they would. I know that because of my connection to my offspring, I can feel their emotions, every quiver with trepidation at any difficult choice they have to make, at any joy that sings in their souls... I try not to let these Earthly emotions dwell on my mind for too long. They are very different from the fifth dimensional waves that give rise to Arkadia, that keep it together. But human love and pain still contain aspects of the Core Frequency. I know that and I can assure you that this is the reason why the Plan cannot fail, that humans are reaching for the Stars as much as we are. Deep down, I feel that by now I can call the whole of humanity the Children of Venus...”

At Lady Venusia’s final words, our rays converge like laser beams towards the Blue Flame radiating from her heart. Our eyes pop open like saucers. What is our Queen implying? But new waves of peace are entering our souls in this moment of revelation, so no further uttering can now escape our lips, nor can doubt of any form dwell on our minds any longer. Because the Truth always makes you forget everything else.

Kassandra’s Diary, 2 January 1993

I am writing this first thing in the morning while I’m still in bed. I’m in the Borders where I’m staying at Gordon’s family house for Hogmanay. He is lying next to me and still sound asleep … his face so handsome in its vulnerability, his muscular body relaxed while his mind is in his dream world. I am wide awake instead, and I didn’t get much sleep last night.

It was a fun party and we had plenty to drink. Then we continued our private celebrations in Gordon’s old bedroom, trying to keep quiet not be heard by Mr and Mrs Steward. I thought I would sleep like a log as we certainly burnt a lot of energy in our nocturnal tryst. But no, here I am just a couple of hours later, having just woken up with a great sense of alertness and clarity. And I don’t feel tired at all, but completely alert.

I look at my boyfriend and I want to stroke his legs and wait for his morning erection. But stuff is going through my head, and it’s too powerful to ignore. Even Gordon’s body can’t stop me from listening to the information I seem to be retrieving unintentionally and yet relentlessly. It’s impossible to fight this stream of consciousness... Memories of my True Identity are flooding in. I need to capture them before they disappear like faint images from a lovely dream.

I am not fully human, or only human to be precise. My life has a higher purpose, though I often tend to forget about it. Throughout my childhood years, I could sense I was being observed and tested. The contents of my mind were never left completely alone. I received messages and instructions, like my mum did, except I heard them clearly and they made sense. Yet this didn’t scare me or cause me any concern. As I child, I didn’t find it particularly odd to keep all this information to myself. I didn’t think that I was being delusional or showing the signs of schizophrenia. I found the process natural; it was simply the outcome of my higher powers being fiercely expressed. My life then had not yet been tarnished by the lies and concerns of adulthood.

I wasn’t a normal child from the very beginning. Grown-ups would praise me for my intelligence, my attentiveness, my ability to learn and articulate concepts remarkably well for my very young age. They didn’t know that in actual fact I was acquainted with a lot of things long before life made me experience them. All knowledge was present in my DNA, and I only had to keep an open mind to access it. I taught myself to read and write very early in life, for instance, though my father insisted he was the one who helped me learn. But I deciphered the symbols of the alphabet myself. From a ripe young age, my memory would often be unfazed by the boundaries of time. Knowledge came before experience, and my intelligence and memory were all-embracing.

I could even remember the day when I was born. I could re-live it in my mind. There I was, being born! A human being! A girl! It did take me a while to get out of that tunnel, and I didn’t know how to do it. After all, I was experiencing this ‘while’, something that I was utterly unfamiliar with, for the first time, pondering as I was whether I’d made the right decision or not. But everybody in this Galaxy knows that the right decision is the one you’ve made or else! Once you’re in matter, once you materialize, it does take this strange currency called time to change your mind. And time is a traitor sometimes. It makes you forget who you are, why you’re here, who you’re here with, and so on and so forth.

So there I was, having been stuck for seventy-two hours, when at last, the full moon my accomplice, the final pull (that was actually my mum’s pushing) took me to the light. Born into sight of this world, into sight of the Earth. I was born on Lovers’ Day, as I had intended, except that my consciousness had shrunk to such a tiny point I couldn’t remember any of this. I was a bundle of confusion, chaos, cells, a bombardment of sensations. In a second I couldn’t remember who I was anymore, let alone the fact that I had decided to incarnate to find my Other Half, my Shadow Self, my Soul Mate, my Alchemical Twin, my Holy Mirror.

My physical senses were a novelty. How weird reality seemed through the channels of experience that humans use to approach the world. Reality appeared painful, wobbly! So limited, so different. Fragmented. I felt as if I was the whole of creation squeezed into a tiny form. All I could do was scream my lungs out. The entire Universe was in me, here, howling its shrieks.

What I was thinking was “Let go of the pain you’ve just experienced, let go, let go... forget, forget, forget... it’s worth nothing... that’s all there is to it... human... birth... one of the peak experiences to have... don’t cling to it... sure it’s your first and only Earthly life and you want to take your time.... But let go quickly or this pain will squirm through your heart... and squeeze out the memories of your True Identity... sleep, sweet one, sleep...” 

Pain was easy to let go of way back then, as my body had no previous frame of reference to connect it to. Being human felt like something was missing from the very beginning. It is that ‘something’ I am here to find. The symbolism of human birth is remarkable: separation from the Source is expressed so violently... it hurts so much that we all forget it... Yet we are here to remember... Not an easy game, this life on Earth. Perhaps on some level the human predicament may seem like a pretty, yet sad ‘fairy tale’ type of a story. Hopeless, even. A search for wholeness in a world of separateness.

Despite all the necessary difficulties that my human birth entailed, it was impossible for me to forget that I was here because of my choice. I knew that everything and everyone in my life was meant to remind me of me, that life reflected me back, and that the Universe would help me remember completeness again. I had to hold that vision. I was looking at the world through my own eyes. My little life story, as insignificant as it may have seemed to an onlooker, would be informing all of my experience while I was incarnate, whether I was observing it consciously or reacting to it subconsciously. The outcome of the accuracy of my choices could be life as a Star Woman in a human body. The Earth herself was calling out for the birth of the new race I was starting, a race of angels...

My long and difficult birth had made me a very aloof child who was often reluctant to take part in mundane activities. I found solace in my own company and shied away from that of other people. I preferred my mind and what it came up with to watching telly. I didn’t listen to other people’s opinions and I often knew before they expressed them that they were biased. I was bright, very bright: my Core-Light was fully switched on. Even in my mother’s womb I could figure things out. I would listen to those muffled conversations beyond ‘the Veil’ of her flesh. I could feel the energy of her surroundings. I could tell changes in her swinging moods and visualize them in different colors. I could even tell what the world around her looked like: I could picture it in my mind without having laid my physical eyes on it.

Of course, I recognized the invisible visitors from my early years. And I envisaged that dad would abandon mum and me when I was still a little girl. And that mum would leave me too. I knew right from the inception that there was someone who would never desert me, even though at times he’d want and try to. I’ve not met him in manifest life yet, though his spirit is strongly connected to mine. That someone isn’t Gordon, as much as I try to convince myself otherwise.

When my powers grow stronger, I will find the strength to let Gordon go. Not yet though. But soon, I guess, the day will come when I will show the world that there’s so much more to me than meets the eye. From the day I was conceived, I’ve had what they call the gift of prophecy. I call it coming from the future. My purpose in life is calling me to accept my function in the Arkadian Plan. I am not going to fight it anymore. My human side is frightened. I have to let my soul take care of it.

Edinburgh, February 1993: 25th Birthday

The new year had started on the wrong foot for Gordon and me. We argued constantly over the most irrelevant things, such as which restaurants to go to or how to spend our holidays and free time together. The only good thing about it was making up afterward, which meant mind-blowing sex of the type that makes you blush when you think about it the day after. Gordon and I were addicted to each other on the physical plane. And we were both jealous of each other’s power over the members of the opposite gender. Ours was a match made in hell, despite the fact that I was trying to drag it into heaven by squeezing the handsome Mr Steward into my definition of my Soul Mate.

When the eve of my twenty-fifth birthday finally arrived, it was shrouded in a cloak of sorrow so heavy I wouldn’t outgrow it for a few months. It wasn’t the passing of time that was my concern. I didn’t feel I was about to get any older. I didn’t believe in aging. Such were the preoccupations of those who didn’t know the Truth. I was afraid of Gordon. I sensed that he was about to brand a scorching mark onto the focus of my attention. My intuition was already sending butterflies in my stomach. He would soon end our relationship so badly, like a coward, choosing the norm against the almost impossible wonders that I’d always hinted at, that I had so lovingly and generously prepared for him. Not that I could tell him the secret that I held. It wasn’t stuff for the uninitiated. But I hadn’t expected his betrayal to hurt me so deeply, and to shake the very foundation of my identity.

I had known for a while that he was growing weary of my mysterious ways, I could concede that. But I had hoped that he could continue to be magnetized by my charms and generous sexual know-how. I kept fooling myself in my belief that the promise of another world could wait until the day he could become part of it. But in the end, Gordon didn’t want to play along with me and my dreams. Instead, he chose to become involved with someone else who was older than me and him, and by all means my inferior in intelligence and beauty. What could I expect of him? He was a creature of the Earth, so he let his earthly nature have the best of the Star Seed I had tried to plant in his heart, to no avail.

Earlier that night, in a candle-lit restaurant on the Castle Esplanade, I faced up to my fears about my future with Gordon, or the lack of one. I had always dreaded the thought that our relationship wouldn’t last through to the Shift of Paradigm set to culminate in 2012. My most recent concerns, however, had been of a much more human nature. Something had gone very, very wrong. He was cheating on me, I was sure. Having imbibed half a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc to ease my nerves and after a very expensive dinner he was going to pay for, I confronted him.

 “Are you sleeping with Linda?”

He didn’t expect that. His blue eyes turned serious, deep, and then angry. There was a long silence. He didn’t have the courage to look at me as I was talking. Then he excused himself to go to the toilet, leaving me alone at the table with a pale face and my whole world on a cliff hanger. It took him forever to come back, and he seemed angry now. His words were cold and his stare was unfaltering. I guessed he had practiced in the mirror in the gents. Oddly, I found him irresistible.

“I only had a one-night stand with her, two months ago. You had your exams and no time for me, and I’m a man... And now she’s pregnant. This is the real headache...”

His hands kept folding and unfolding the linen napkin. The blue of his eyes had turned to steel. Responsibility towards others had never been his forte. Now he seemed to lay the blame for his actions on me and Linda. I had heard enough. I could hardly breathe but I tried my best to articulate my words as if I wasn’t hurt. But my heart had almost come to a halt

“You’re such an idiot, Gordon.” I almost chocked on my words. “Were you ever going to tell me or did you expect me to find out by other means?”

He seemed surprised at my strength, and so was I. Courage is in my stellar nature after all, and it had come to my rescue.

I stood up, shot him a cold glance and said: “Don’t even try to follow me.” 

With dignity and poise, I walked away from him and the pain he’d inflicted. I even gyrated my hips in what I thought was a sexy stride. Luck was on my side and I found a taxi waiting at the rank by St Giles’ Cathedral. I managed some chit-chat with the driver on the way to Piper’s Crescent. The journey only took five minutes at night. When I arrived, I climbed the stairs up to my apartment focusing on my breath not to panic. Once I hit the silence of my room, I broke down in sobs. Gwen and Sam woke up. My body was shaking in misery, uncontrollably. My mind could hardly grasp what had happened. My ego had just brought me down to my knees. I couldn’t fight it any longer: my human side had surrendered to desperation.

Gordon had turned me and my love for him down. He had rejected me. I wasn’t wanted, he had preferred someone else. Even if only once, as he maintained. But that was enough to severe our bond forever. He was my enemy now. He had brought Darkness into my heart, he had clouded my mind and my emotions. I didn’t know any of those feelings that were now running down my veins like a flooding river. I was in pain, I was suffering. My throat had started to hurt with all the crying. I hugged my pillow and buried my lovelorn face in it.

The light in my room was switched off, just like my connection to the Source. I felt abandoned by Life itself, as if I were falling into an abyss. A cruel male voice was whispering cynical words in my ear. Was it the remnants of Gordon’s ego?

“Kassandra, what a fool! The perfect match doesn’t exist, all the love that you feel is just a by-product of madness, of the neediness of the orphan that you are... you have no Twin Soul, no one can make you feel complete, all you will do is long for perfection but you will never achieve it. This is only the beginning of your heartache...”

Who was this entity who seemed to rejoice in my sorrow? Why did he want to possess me and fill my soul with the lowest emotions? The thought of death came to my mind in that very moment, but it disappeared quickly. Then a heavy silence came to soothe me all of a sudden.

[continue to Chapter Four: POWER]